I really hope she will give me another chance because I swear to give her all the happiness whereas i can't be sure that someone else would. I hope that she will regain the confidence and feelings for me. Today after school, after I came home to change I went out. I was sitting at bras brasah kopitiam the whole evening. It was the first time I ever ate alone. I had no appetite, just ate chicken rice. I did not add rice or side dishes which I usually do whenever we ate together. We would always have a feast together. I really miss the feeling of her sitting beside me. Whenever I look around, its just myself at the table. I miss sharing a drink with her, miss feeding her and likewise, she feeding me. Why must this happen? Can it all be just a dream that I can wake up from it? After finishing my meal, I did not know where to go, what to do, I've lost my directions in life. All I could do was to sit there and look at couples after couples passing by the door, holding hands. How i wished this could happen again. I am really very sad. With the feeling that half of me was gone. I left after about an hour, walked on the streets carrying my favourite bag, the nike bag she gave me for my birthday. Something was missing. I could swing my hands, put them in my pockets but no matter what, there wasn't her hand for me to hold. I have totally lost interest in looking at girls. All i want is just to look at her, no one else. I took bus 106 home, a familiar bus for us but this time I am alone without her. No one complained about the air con being cold. I could imagine her presence with me all along, but she is just not with me. The pain and sorrows was just too immense. I sat alone, on the inside seat. I reached Holland Village, memmories of the past came back. I could visualise the times we walked together, holding hands. We studied there, ate the nasi lemak, laksa, fish soup sold there. We often also go there to look at pets and replenish princess's food whenever it is finished. I really wished all these wouldn't have happened and i could be at that place at that time, without needing to visualise my memmories with her. Can I ever live without her? What will become of me if she don't come back.
